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A traditional thai wedding guide

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Orawan and Robert's wedding

A short guide to the traditional Thai Wedding

Traditional Thai weddings are unique with many steps to follow. The ceremony represents centuries of tradition where couple agree to take on the responsibilities of marriage and family. The engagement and the wedding happen as part of the same celebration. The rituals are traditionally performed in the morning.  I have tried to describe the events that will take place during the morning.

The day will start with the groom (me!) visiting the bride and her family. The visit will not be to their home but to a pavilion at the Worabura resort.

The day will start with the "Kan-Mak" procession. This is a ceremonial visit to greet Tai and her parents and to ask for their daughter's hand in marriage. The groom is accompanied by friends and family (and anyone else who wants to get up at 5.30am). We will carry offerings of teh "Kan-Mak". These are tarys of gifts from the groom to the bride's family.

The major "Kan-Mak" tray traditionally consists of gold ornaments, a diamond engagement ring and cash as the dowry. In addition there are  betel nuts, sesame seeds and areca. The Kan Mak will be covered in silk.

The minor "Kan-Mak" will have traditional food, fruits and desserts whose names are believed to bring good luck.

The procession takes place in high spirits with folk dances, songs and the beat of a long drum troupe to announce the groom's arrival.

The groom has obstacles to overcome to reach his bride. The "Kan-Mak" procession has to pass through up to seven barriers taht lead to the ceremonial room. At the "Victory", "Silver", and "Golden" gates there will be friends and family of the bride who will ask questions of the groom before he is allowed to pass. These are tests of the groom's readiness to look after his new bride.

In addition the groom must prepare envelopes og money as the keys to each gate. The Golden gate is last, and this is supposed to have the highest value. This is where many promises will be made confirming how well the groom will treat his bride and his new family. There is much friendly teasing and negotiating before the relatives will admit the groom.

For our ceremony I should arrive at the ceremonial room for 7.29am.

In the ceremonial room the dowry will be displayed in front of witnesses of the bride and groom's families. As the bride's groom is seen to be checking the dowry elders from both families will scatter peanuts and flowers on the dowry as a blessing. The dowry is a demonstration of respect for the bride and the new family and traditionally indicates the groom's ability to care for his bride.

We are then engaged through the simple ceremony of placing an engagement ring onto Tai's finger. And we are officially a couple.

The wedding ceremony itself is presided over by nine Buddhist monks; nine is a lucky number in Thailand. The bride, groom, family and guests make merit and virtue by preparing food and desserts for the nine monks. The bride and groom will use the same ladle and rice bowl to give alms to the Buddhist monks, believing that they will be born together in the next life.

The bride and groom are then tied together with string over their wrists and heads to symbolize the joining of their minds and bodies as one. The monks bless "holy water" to be poured from a conch shell. The most senior guest starts the ceremony, followed by other guests lining up, to give their blessings for a long and happy married life while pouring the water over the hands of the couple.

The bride and groom now pay their respects to the parents and elders. It is traditional to present a tray of flowers, incense, candles and Thai silk fabrics to the parents and senior family members. Gifts are also presented top other respected elders. This is accompanied by traditional Thai gestures of respect.

At the end of the day after the dinner and party the newly weds leave for a well-earned rest. The day is not quite over. The final ceremony is ‘Song Tua', which is about sending the newly wed couple to the bedroom (Ruen Hor). For this, the bride and groom must invite a respectable adult couple, who have been married only once, to bless their bed and to offer their advice and wisdom and so bring an auspicious end to a new beginning.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
bride and groom in thai wedding
 
 
 
traditional buddhist wedding ceremony in Thailand