Europe plunges into the "merde"

31 May 2005

The French (bless them!) have plunged Europe deep into the "merde" with a resounding "non" vote on the European constitution.

The French, remember, were quite happy with Europe when they thought (foolishly) that they ran the continent. But the expansion to 25 nations. the loss of jobs to lower cost, and harder working, nations and the introduction of responsible fiscal management have all eaten away at he French love affair with Europe.

The European Constitution was after all drafted by a Frenchman. The Constitution sough to bind 25 countries and 445 million people in a  448-article document that was drafted to make the bloc more democratic, more efficient and better able to face global competition. It has to be ratified by all 25 members.

The Europe of today, lets face it, has a flag no one cares about and an anthem that no one knows. It is a place in a geography book. It has no economy of its own, no foreign policy of its own and on major issues is incapable of speaking with a single, worthwhile, common voice. The nearest there ever is to a united Europe is the three days of golf played every two years for the Ryder Cup. It will take more than that to create a real sense of belonging.

So what is going on. The French did not just reject the constitution. The French send a resounding message that they do not like a larger EU, that the entry of Turkey alarms them, that free markets are counter to the French socialist state looking after then, and that they do not trust the French ruling elite.

It may just be that May 29, 2005 marks the beginning of the end of the EU. The Dutch, emboldened by the French will likely say no as well. And the British who may not now be asked to vote, would surely say you have to be joking as well.

The history of European consolidation has been doomed to failure; the Romans tried it. The Germans tried it. What is different about people being ruled from far away by lawmakers they do not know with legislation that they do not want. The Romans and Germans did not seek the consent of the people. This time the new EU needs the consent of the people and increasingly looks unlikely to earn that support.

The Danish and Polish are due to vote in the autumn. Enough no votes should send a loud message that the modern EU is a modern day mess; an idea that may have served its time. The trouble with Europe is that the bigger it gets the more diverse the concerns. Appease one member and you upset others. The solution is too often the lowest common denominator and that leaves no one satisfied.

So the EU will come up with a patchwork fix. In the end nationhood will continue to prevail - it probably always will. Certainly for this and the next generation they will think of themselves more as German or Dutch than European. And nations will continue to promote their own foreign, domestic and economic policies.

Maybe what the demise of this constitution is about is the demise of old Europe and the rising up of the "Interrail" generation. The French and Germans are mired in history. Their economies stagnate as both nations try to avoid change at all costs. The EU presidency is about to be handed over from mini Luxembourg to a lame-duck Tony Blair. The best that Blair can hope to do is open up the EU to new voices and new ideas; to people who want to be European, instead of people who want Europe to be subjugate to their own national inadequacies.

Taking the pith of the Sith

26 May 2005

Star Wars III, "The Revenge of the Sith" is the third of the prequels to the original 1977 (yes it was 1977) Star Wars movie. I saw the original at the Canterbury Odeon when I was at University! And the film quite neatly dovetails back to the original film.

I actually liked the second film the most - "The Empire Strikes Back" where poor old Luke Skywalker finds himself fighting his father and in love with his sister. The boy had every right to be confused.

In many ways the latest film is the darkest. This film delivers the triumph of fascism; the victory of evil over good and brings us an intergalactic Hitler. It is only in the original 1977 film that good starts to re-emerge.

The trouble with this film is it is hard to see how Anikin Skywalker goes evolves from dopey, love sick, spotty adolescent to the leader of the dark side. His character is simply too wooden. The wookies have a better script! Natalie Portman is such a talented actress (go and see "Closer"). She is dreadfully wasted here. But at least here hair style sets the way for Princess Leia in Episode IV...the original Star Wars.

The earlier films, especially "The Empire Strikes Back"  were enjoyable because of the relationships between the characters; there was a humour there that the new films do not have. The effects have taken over and the films lack emotion as a result.

It is of course a moral tale; just what is the difference between good and evil and how do we tell the difference between the two? Who do we trust; and who will tell us what is right and what is wrong.

The trouble with the film is that it is hard to get emotionally attached; the battle scenes are spectacular but they are computer imagery and are as engrossing as a playstation game; and are all these light sabres necessary; why don't they just shoot eachother. The toys, spaceships and gadgetry are the product of brilliant imaginations and computer graphic skills. But in the end watching a caped geriatric and an 18 inch teddy bear with pointy ears fighting with florescent light strips is quite preposterous.

Pitcairn's lord of the flies

24 May 2005

What is it about Steve Christian, the mayor of Pitcairn, and his band of misfits that they somehow think they can behave beyond the law of any land. Does their remoteness mean that basic human respect and dignity can be ignored? The mayor is the leader of the community. He is in a position of trust. Christian, like his infamous ancestor, let down his community and abused his authority.

This so called paradise reads like hell on earth. In October 2004 the mayor and five other men were sentenced to between two and six years in jail after being found guilty of a series of sex offences, including rape and indecent assault, on girls as young as 12. Statements from victims detailed depression, insomnia and suicide attempts.

The first defense was that underage sex was common place and consensual.

On appeal, the six men claimed that claimed they had not realised English law applied there. Yesterday, the Pitcairn Supreme Court, at a special sitting in Auckland, rejected claims that the men were unaware that British law applied on Pitcairn, and that their trial was unfair. Today the court is due to hear discussions on whether the convicted Pitcairners would be granted bail. Until now the sentences have been effectively suspended and the convicted men have been free on Pitcairn.

The suggestion that British law might not apply on Pitcairn is almost laughable. Pitcairn Island's flag is a Blue Ensign with the island's Coat of Arms in the fly. The design was suggested by the Pitcairn Island Council in December 1980 and approved by HM The Queen in April 1984. The flag was flown on Pitcairn for the first time in May 1984, during a visit by the Governor the late Sir Richard Stratton.

The British Blue Ensign, incorporating the Union Flag or Union Jack in the hoist, indicates Pitcairn Island’s historical association with Great Britain.

And which nation funds this sad place; the British Government has announced $9 million of upgrades, including new roads and a new jetty. Why bother? They have not earned it.

For more background on Pitcairn go to this page.

Pattaya Today - the latest from the dark side !

23 May 2005

After any trip to Pattaya I feel it is my duty to return with gems from the local newspapers as a reminder of just what a weird place Pattaya can be:

So try these highlights from the current issues of Pattaya Today and the Pattaya Mail.

"Penis Injections erect performance barriers

The Director General of the medical services department has warned that the fashion amongst young men to inject their penises with olive oil to boost size could cause mis-shapen members...." (what are these people thinking ???)

"Fondling foreigner arrested by police"

In this story "the wayward fellow tried to put his hand up her skirt and invited her to come back to his room for horizontal leisure pursuits. A phone call to the police was the result"

Obscene show bar raided again: bananas and darts on the menu

"A tourist visited the club last month and was so shocked by what he saw that he informed the police...a spy was sent to view the proceedings with the latest hi-tech, mini camera equipment. Soon nakedness and nipples were on shameless display and a signal was given for the formal raid to begin....taken away as evidence were a quantity of bananas, three darts and 14 candles. It was not immediately clear why these items were present, but it is not thought that the candles had anything to do with power cuts.:"

"Shoeshine boy attempts clean getaway with tourist's mobile phone"

Great headline - self explanatory!

The alternative Miss Universe schedule

19 May 2005

After an almost desperate rush to bring Miss Universe 2005 to Thailand to promote Thailand's flagging tourism industry the very attractions that the pageant is in Bangkok to promote can not be seen ion the official website and will be edited out of film to be shown during the televised final.

The photos and film footage that caused offence featured some of the pageant hopefuls wearing swimsuits on a boat in Bangkok's Chao Phraya river with Wat Arun - the famous Temple of the Dawn - in the background.

As I have mentioned before the contestants have a fairly grueling schedule of events. Yesterday they had a drinking contest at the Singha Brewery, one of the main sponsors.

In the interests of promoting all aspects of Bangkok and Thailand I, with some helpful input form equally bored colleagues, have created an alternative four day schedule of events for consideration by the organisers.

Manipulating "Newsweek"

17 May 2005

"We're not saying it absolutely happened but we can't say that it absolutely didn't happen either." - Newsweek editor Mark Whitaker

That is hardly the stuff of wholesome apologies. "Newsweek" magazine's inept investigation of allegations that US interrogators had desecrated the Qur'an while interrogating Muslim terror suspects allegedly led to riots on Pakistan and Afghanistan that included some 15 deaths and many more injuries.

Newsweek is guilty of careless use of poorly sourced intelligence. Nothing more. The saddest part of the Newsweek story is that it was entirely believable; and it may indeed also be true.  There have been many similar stories and certainly far worse allegations and truths out of Abu-Ghraib prison; the USA and its occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan are widely loathed. The riots prompted by the article simply needed an outlet.

There was no special reason for Newsweek to think their report would inspire any riots either. The Taliban stages a resurgence every spring, anti-Americanism has been on the rise in Afghanistan for some time. The Newsweek story is clearly just a pretext.

Newsweek has a responsibility for any errors it has made. But the outrage from the White House is self serving. It remains the task of a responsible media to report the truth about what the government is doing in the war on terror. It is not disloyal to investigate government-sanctioned torture.

Miss Universe lands in Bangkok

16 May 2005

I have no idea what the difference is between Miss Universe and Miss World. After all there do not appear to be any extra-terrestrial girls masquerading as beauty pageant contestants. However the competition, which runs from 13 - 31 May, has taken over Bangkok. For 16 days the girls are being dragged around 30 Thai provinces at the hottest time of the year with daily appearances and functions.

The show itself is live on NBC at 9pm on Monday 30 May. Which means it will be held at 8am in Bangkok.

As a public service this is a link to the missuniversethailand web site with pictures of all the delegates (I think they mean contestants). There is also the girls appearance schedule which is truly grueling. With a dinner each night they are also likely to have put on pounds before the end of month final contest.

The official international site, with better pictures and with profiles of the contestants (sorry, delegates!) is here.

Look out for Miss Ukraine; she paints, writes poetry and plays guitar and appears to have no plan to end poverty or to save the world.

Miss Norway, who is half Thai, will likely do well. Though she looks far from Scandinavian. Miss Puerto Rico has great teeth; Miss Japan is 6ft 1inch, where did they find her? Miss Korea is So-Young Kim; although at 24 she is probably one of the older contestants (oops delegates).

Meanwhile Miss Venezuela, Monica Spear, likes to get to the point. What is it about Venezuela; the country that wins nothing except modeling contests.

Good luck to all the delegates; they will need a lot of luck and a lot of stamina to survive two weeks in this heat. They are all staying at the Dusit Thani hotel. My golf pro (Doug Hood at the Dusit) should be offering discounted classes !

Manchester United in job swap scheme

14 May 2005

Immediately after taking control of Manchester United Malcolm Glazer will take the underperforming Manchester United prima donnas and replace them with some real talent - the cheerleading squad of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers,

The Man U fans are all upset at the sale of their club to a foreigner. They don't get it. Manchester United PLC mortgaged its future to the vagaries of market forces by going public 14 years ago. Since flotation the Club has enjoyed great success. Every year since 1991 it has finished in the top three of the league and in eight of those years it was champions. During the same period it also became the most profitable club in the world, thanks partly to brand-marketing and a careful management of finances, one of the obligations of its public listing.

A no-win triumph. Blair to resign by Christmas.

6 May 2004

Poor old Tony Blair; no other Labour leader in history has enjoyed three successive terms in office; he still has a good overall working majority; and yet there is a sense that he has been given a bloody nose; he has been told that he is not trusted and that he may indeed be a Labour Party liability.

What an ungrateful bunch his party are; what an ungrateful electorate. When they write the history books of the Blair generation they will write that Blair was one of the most brilliant politicians in British history; that he was a man with a conscience who did what he thinks is right; that he had the courage to take the hard decisions and live with them and that the country was robust, strong and respected while he was Prime Minister.

Blair made modern Labour when it won a landslide election in 1997. Blair made the Labour party electable. He revolutionised the party and shifted it emotionally from the left to the center.

Blair will not resign tomorrow; he has been elected to lead the government; but I do not think he will stay longer than it is politically expedient to do. Citing health and the need to spend more time with his family Tony Blair could resign before Christmas and he will hand over the leadership to Gordon Brown.

Smart chap Gordon Brown; but rather dour. Charisma is not his strong point. When Blair goes, Britain's roll and the respect that it enjoys on the world stage will be diminished.

Howard was unelectable; and has announced his intention to resign as Tory party leader. The Lib Dems are a distraction in first past the post constituency politics. Even when the modern Labour party was at its lowest point no credible opposition emerged. The Tories won more seats than in 2001; but they did so not because of new Tory votes but because of slippage of the Labour vote to the Liberals Democrats. Those who voted for the Lib Dems as a protest against the Iraq War will not remain loyal to the Lib Dems. Their gains are short lived.

The parties are all looking for a silver lining from this result. But there could be, and was, only one winner. Take a bow, Mr. Blair, you made history. It is only when you have gone that people will really know what you have achieved and what a hard act you will be to follow.

Tony Blair has save British politics from decline; from dumbing down; sadly when he goes that is exactly what will happen.

By the light of a silvery moon

5 May 2005

The full moon parties on Koh Pha-ngan are getting a little too steamy for Thai senator, Rabiebrat Pongpanit, who is upset at the sight of foreign tourists kissing in public.

A few splendid hypocrisies here as Ms. Pongpanit tries to ride the morality train. Firstly, she is the senator for Khon Kaen, in Issan in the NE of Thailand, far away from the southern islands. Secondly, the parties attract young backpackers from all over the world, drawn by the attractions of sea, sand and large quantities of alcohol; thirdly, the Thai tourism industry has actively promoted these parties which are a major source of employment and income on the islands. Finally, there are many young Thais attending these parties. Maybe they can kiss and the foreigners cannot.

Ms. Pangpanit insists that she is concerned about inappropriate behavior on Thai soil and that her investigations had shown that alcohol was served in copious quantities and that foreigners were kissing in public places. Shock horror!

The parties sound fun !If only I was a generation younger !

Bomb detection equipment triggers corruption scandal

5 May 2005

The background is fairly straightforward; the fall out is causing a scandal that will not quickly go away.

In February 2005 the US Securities and Exchange Commission concluded its investigation of a Californian manufacturer of bomb detection equipment, Invision. On its web site the SEC reports that their investigation "involves violations of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act ("FCPA") by InVision, a California-based manufacturer of explosives detection systems used by airports. From at least June 2002 through June 2004, InVision, through its employees, sales agents and distributors, engaged in transactions in violation of the FCPA in three countries: the People's Republic of China, the Republic of the Philippines and the Kingdom of Thailand. In each of the transactions, InVision was aware of a high probability that its foreign sales agents or distributors paid or offered to pay something of value to government officials in order to obtain or retain business for InVision. Despite this, InVision authorized improper payments to the agents or distributors, or allowed them to proceed with transactions on InVision's behalf, in violation of the FCPA. During this period, InVision improperly accounted for certain payments to its agents and distributors in its books and records in violation of the FCPA, and failed to devise and maintain a system of internal controls with respect to foreign sales sufficient to assure compliance with the FCPA."

Invision was trying to sell 26 high-tech explosive identification machines to the new Bangkok airport. In December 2004 US based General Electric Co pad US$900 million to acquire Invision. But on December 6, the US Justice Department's fraud section announced that InVision's deal in Thailand included "criminal liability associated with potential violations of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act" (FCPA) and fined InVision $800,000 in penalties. In February, the Securities and Exchange Commission fined InVision an additional $1.1 million "for violations" of the FCPA.

At the centre of the transaction is Invisions's Thai partner and distributor, Patriot Business Consultants Co Ltd. During the bidding process for contracts at the new airport it was a requirement that the contracts be awarded to Thai companies so foreign contractors were expected to bid through a local partner.

 In its findings the SEC reported the facts from Thailand as follows:

The financial aspects of the deal were as follows. Patriot would see the detectors for US$46 million to the new airport corporation; meanwhile the sale by Invision to Patriot was valued at US$35.8 million.

As the controversial deal has become public Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra has threatened to cancel the contract unless GE Invision either apologises for incorrect allegations or names those people to whom payments were made.

The government is insisting that there is nothing wrong with the deal; though it should be added the government is not a party to the contract, But at the same time the government now wants the deal scrapped.

Thaksin has said that the country should not mind buying machines of inferior quality from other suppliers. Reports say that the conveyor belts to be fitted with the scanners had been built to suit GE InVision's CTX 9000 model. Changing the bomb detectors would now require big changes to the system already installed. This could further delay the airport opening.

If there is no evidence of corruption in Thailand then the contract should proceed. If the contract is cancelled it should be because the alleged corruption is proven to have taken place.

False security!

3 May 2005

In a country where fake goods are still sold on most street corners it is interesting to watch the new security measures being taken at buildings and hotels around the city.

We have new security on the ground floor of potash towers; the security may be there as the building is also home to the embassy of one of the western world's most benign democracies. Photo id is in theory to be shown to enter the building; but one colleague showed his sandwich and I have entered with my Chinese language business card.

Outside the building cars are stopped in the driveway to the entrance. The security guards have flat mirrors on trolleys which they slide under the car; it is unlikely that they have any idea what they are looking for. They do not ask why we are going to the building or examine what we are carrying in the taxi.

The same thing happens at the entrance to the Dusit Thani hotel; drivers are also asked to open their trunks. My golf clubs are there; but they are not examined.

In many ways this is all a good thing; new jobs have been created! The danger is that it gives a false sense of security. It is not for real; it is half hearted.

Air fare fraud; the hidden costs

2 May 2005

As on 1 May Thailand's three low costs airlines have acted in unison to apply fuel charges in all fares; the fuel surcharge is Baht 200 for domestic flights and Baht 400 for international flights. Low cost is no longer so low cost. All the scheduled carriers add fuel surcharges and taxes to their fares and the LCCs have followed suit.

But this pricing verges on the fraudulent for the LCCs; who change their prices all the time to maximise yield. It would be far more appropriate to include the fuel surcharge in the base fare. Instead of advertising domestic fares from Baht 399 in May and June, Thai Air Asia should be advertising fares form Baht 599 plus relevant taxes. The fuel surcharge is even hidden with security and administration costs.

Lets look at a weekend trip to Singapore in May:

Outbound on 26 May a fare is advertised for Baht 1,099; to this add Baht 700 for insurance Baht 50; administration Baht 100; security and fuel Baht 550.  So the total outbound cost is Baht 1.799.

Coming back on 29 May there is a fare advertised at Baht 1,299. To this add Baht 1,075 for a total of Baht 2,374. The extras are as above plus an airport tax in Singapore of Baht 375.

So advertised fares for the round trip of Baht 2,398 add up to a total cost of Baht 4,173. You have been warned.

Tiger Airways meanwhile has no fuel surcharge and will fly you from BKK to SIN on the same dates for a total of S$ 170.96 (roughly Baht 4,126).

Jetstar Asia meanwhile charges extras that include aircraft insurance fees of Baht 220 per flight and an administration fee of Baht 200. Their Singapore Passenger Service Charge is Baht 520 (compared to 375 on Air Asia). Jetstar's return fares for the same days are Baht 4,635.

Best advise for international flights: shop around and check all the extra charges.