One year later…

Customs United 2 Chiang Mai FC 1

24 February 2024

Back on 26 February 2023 Simon was dispatched to Customs United to write his first match report for CMFCEnglish.

364 days later he was back at the same ground and, with cursed luck, witnessed another CMFC defeat.

This is his report. Thanks so much for doing this Simon.


Fahas, Sarawin, Alef, Piyachanok, Adisak, Panyawat, Chappuis, Suchanon, Jakkapan, Akarawin, Chitchanok.

The Chiang Mai FC traveling circus headed off to Lad Krabang for another episode of our enthralling ‘Batshit Mental Season.’

It would not be disappointing.

Big Golf has been appointed as manager until the end of the regular season.

This week’s “who is captain” raffle was won by Chicha.

The match commenced with the players understandably looking somewhat confused with a game plan that appeared to be based on giving the ball to Alef. He would immediately set off up the pitch with the ball not under full control and too far in front of him with obvious results; it was dismal.

Also why was he playing….? Why was he not suspended or sacked….?

P’Boy would be the logical choice for this role, who incidentally gave a Man of the Match performance, he was superb and needs to be our Captain every match.

This approach was at best ridiculous; the midfield of Chappuis & Panyawat (the latter performing well) were completely negated.

In recent matches Chappuis has displayed what an excellent footballer he is, showing his great composure and fantastic range of passing….

So why in the world would you not use his ability to dictate the match as David would have done, before he was unceremoniously sacked..?

In their last game Customs were impressive, breaking sharply and attacking in a very dangerous manner.

So you did not need to be a Rocket Scientist to know this match was not going be a walk in the park.

Predictably the decent crowd, which also included the “Born in Chiang Mai, Live in Bangkok” guys, only had to wait twelve minutes for Customs to score, in the most horrific fashion possible.

A ball was diagonally cut back from the left side of our box to Narakorn, #4, on the edge of the “D” who quickly fired off a decent volley, across Fahas, which cannoned of his left upright and hit him in the back of the head as he was prone on the floor.

To everyone’s dismay the ball rebounded and slowly made its way to the other post and rolled over the line…..

This was grotesquely unfair on Fahas who had be looking secure and confident until this happened.

On 33 minutes Akarawin, received a good cross from the left, he was on the edge of the area, took the ball well, turned and hit a low shot across the keeper which bobbled in; unfortunately he was offside.

Towards the end of the first half Chappuis had clearly had enough of being a spectator and decided to drop back and get the ball.

We now had a modicum of hope for the second half, an excellent decision by a top class footballer, impressive.

But realistically we were clutching at straws.

The second half things started to pick up: a  cross from the left was pinged across the six yard box, where Akarawin surrounded by defenders impressively got a quick shot off although straight at keeper; he deserved more.

This was quickly followed by a lovely lofted free kick from the right, it was heading to the crowded back post. Suchanon, he is Brazilian, darted in between the defenders like a whippet to meet the cross with a wonderful header that sadly hit the post.

Then another cross from the inside left position was floated towards Akarawin on the penalty spot, he took a couple steps back, rose well and headed just over the bar. We should have capitalised on this but that was not be.

Ten minutes later Fahas, who was again in the middle of another defensive farce, instigated by Nattayot.

The lively and ever dangerous Matsunaga, #7, on the edge of the box snapped a quick diagonal shot across Fahas, hitting the base of the post and bouncing out to Nattayot, who facing his own goal dithered rather than clearing the ball to safety.

The two Customs players hassled him and Nattayot was herded towards our goal, in an instant four players and the bobbling ball approach the goal-line about six feet from the post and then it gets silly, Keystone Cops silly…!!

A nightmare to describe; watch the highlights.

Tawan and Posri then came on for Suchanon and Panyawat.

One minute later Akarawin got the goal he thoroughly deserved and what a stonker…..!!!

Just outside the Customs penalty area on the angle, Posri combines well with Akarawin, who after receiving the ball fades back out a tad then turns and belts the ball from twenty yards into the top left hand corner. Bloody fantastic..!!!

Unfortunately the remainder of the game was crap. 

We struggled to break Customs down and we reverted to going sideways and backwards on  the half way line. I can’t fathom why the ball wasn’t lumped into the box…?

By now I had enough of the match report and could not be bothered. The shitshow had worn me out.

Hopefully the owner is starting to realise that his team selection and tactics are awful; we have been turned over by Krabi and now Customs.

Big Golf must be allowed to dictate selection and tactics as it is actually his job, otherwise finishing in the top six is in jeopardy.

Rob returns for the next installment of this painful saga which will be played out at the Municipal Stadium in a tough encounter against Phrae, what could possibly go wrong…..?

Come on Chiang Mai.